When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. Although a lot of the time, it seems no matter who you are, even if you don't play the game of thrones, you're likely to die.
In order to survive, you have to either be smart (and most times lucky, look what happened to Littlefinger), or you have to be one hell of a warrior.
That’s why, as the final series began, I took a stab (see what I did there?) at assessing (and most times, assuming) what their supplement intakes might be.
Just imagine Fitlion as a part of House Lannister (Lannister’s Lion Sigil), setting up a chain of stores in King’s Landing.
Disclaimer: Season 8 spoiler-free!
12. The Night King
We begin our list with Game of Thrones’ coolest character. Literally. Transformed into a demonic killing machine a millennia ago by the magical Children of the Forest in order to stop their slaughter by humankind, the Night King turned against his makers.
Only the Wall stood against the regent’s dark reign. And once he drops one of his signature cocky “come at me bro” gestures … oh, it’s on.
Nothing warm for the Night King. A yogurt is the best treat he’ll ever get beyond the wall!
11. Tyrion Lannister
Blamed for his mother's death, ostracised by society for being a dwarf and labelled as a degenerate due to his fondness for wine and brothels, you would be forgiven for thinking that he has little bearing on who will sit on the Iron Throne.
All of this is a clever ruse though because while everyone else is swinging swords and falling into treacherous political traps, he's busy studying how the politics of Westeros works and what's required to not only lead but inspire.
Whatever he may be, this much is for certain: He’s horny, he’s funny, he’s never less than fascinating, and he’s always the smartest person in the room.
10. Daenerys Targaryen
She’s the heir to a powerful, dysfunctional family with even more powerful and dysfunctional enemies. Her story is a non-stop confrontation with complex ideas about sex, war, gender, race, politics and morality.
The Mother of Dragons is the human embodiment of everything that makes Game of Thrones great. Bow down.
On top of all that greatness, we can’t help but marvel at her luscious hair. I mean, having gone through all that she did, how is her hair still so amazing!?
Bonus for the Mother of dragons
9. Oberyn Martell
Hands down my favorite character that isn’t alive to SEE (see what I did there again?) or partake in the upcoming Great War.
Also known as the Red Viper, Prince Oberyn Martell hails from the dusty mesas of Dorne, the southernmost region of Westeros. Thanks to his fighting style he is acrobatic enough to dodge sword and strong enough to down a knight in a full suit of armor.
He is extremely agile in a duel, and flaunts a dazzling display of spear twirling. His fighting style requires a significant number of explosive moves at the precise moments to dodge or impale enemies.
Verdict: Pre-workout https://sg.fitlion.com/bsn-n-o-xplode-re-engineered-45servings-grape
8. Theon Greyjoy
Theon has been through quite a journey and he's proven that he is far from the strongest warrior in Westeros.
Where other characters have proven themselves capable of performing clean executions, Theon had trouble executing Ser Rodrick at Winterfell. It took not one, not two, but three swings of his sword for Theon to behead the former master-at-arms.
Let’s face it. He probably didn’t take anything, but we do have a suggestion for our homeboy, Reek. He needs to man up for his lack of testosterones.
7. Jon Snow
Jon has proven himself more capable than most other characters in the show. He's fought everything from rogue members of the Night's Watch and Free Folk to White Walkers.
The Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch has survived giants, wildlings, and even the undead. It takes a tough man to survive, much less lead, the Brothers in Black, but Jon has managed to do just that. Part of the reason he has been able to survive so much is due to his gold standard fitness (Ok it’s Melisandre too, but we have no products from the Lord of Light).
6. Jaime Lannister
Love him or hate him, the golden boy of House Lannister is one of the fittest men in Westeros. Perhaps the greatest fighter of his generation, Jaime Lannister has trained in the art of combat since he was a young boy, and met the onerous requirements to be a member of the King’s Guard.
He also has travelled all over Westeros and is no stranger to surviving away from the comforts of his cushy life.
Being the golden boy, he definitely only goes for the strictest quality when it comes to supplements.
5. Ser Jorah Mormont
Jorah the Andal has a long history as a soldier.He may be old, but he consistently proves himself in combat. He fought Dothraki soldiers in the first season, he fought in the fighting pits of Meereen to get back to Daenerys and more recently, he fought an army of wights alongside Jon Snow and company.
A real man like Ser Jorah Mormont’s greatest fight of all? He fought the cruel passage of time to regain his youth and vitality, but definitely not without the help of supplements.
4. Sansa Stark
One thing I personally love about Game of Thrones is the number of badass women it has — women who have been through hell on earth and come out swinging. I'm talking about Cersei Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen, Olenna Tyrell, Brienne of Tarth and Sansa Stark. That's right, Sansa of House Stark, eldest daughter of Ned and Catelyn and Lady of Winterfell.
Despite all the cringe-worthy hardships she’s gone through, we’ve never seen her change, physically. Her porcelain complexion and ever-fair skin is a feat by itself and for that, she deserves to survive the entire show. Please.
When you live at the top of the world you need to be fit to survive, and Tormund is one of the fittest, strongest and most deadly Wildlings in Westeros. He is a raider and commander with ambitions of bringing down the Wall and settling his people in the south.&
He manages to scale the imposing surface with two pickaxes and some amazing upper body strength.
Season 8 Episode 1 spoiler ahead
We learnt recently that he grew so strong due to Giant’s Milk. He has enough whey protein from the giants, so here’s what else we think he took.
2. Sandor Clegane
“The Hound” is a name that sends shivers down the spine of even the most grizzled Westeros soldier. Sandor Clegane casts an imposing figure, though not as tall and hulking as his brother. When it comes to sheer strength, Sandor Clegane has few rivals.
Gregor Clegane, the Mountain, lost his joust against Loras Tyrell and in a fit of rage, attacked Ser Loras. Luckily, Sandor intervened and duelled his brother to save the Knight of the Flowers. He held his own in that duel, which is impressive, considering the Mountain's size and elephantine strength.
1: The Mountain
And of course, we end off with the Mountain.
There is no “love him or hate him” about Gregor Clegane, AKA “the Mountain That Rides.” There is just hate. He is on the short list for the evilest villains in all of Westeros, using his enormous strength and size to terrorize the enemies of House Lannister.
His fitness feats include: chopping his horse’s head off in one swing of the sword and ripping a man’s head off with his bear hands.
He is so massive, he crushed the skull of poor Oberyn’s in that traumatising duel that I can’t seem to forget. With a mass like his, it’s no surprise the supplements he took.
All images sourced from HBO.
Written by Hardcore Game of Thrones fan - Louie.